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A world renowned anthropologist explores the non-verbal signs, signals, and cues human beings exchange to attract and keep their mates. As a medium of communication, Love's silent language predates speech by millions of years. Today, we still express emotions and feelings largely apart from words. The postures, gestures, and facial cues of attraction are universal, in all societies and cultures.
According to Dr. Givens, courtship moves slowly though five distinct phases: attracting attention, recognition phase, conversation phase, touching phase, making love. Since potential mates "test" each other before uniting as one, courtship is a choreographed give and take of signs granting physical and emotional closeness.
Love Signals is part enthnography and part how-to. Dr. Givens documents the little courting rituals witnessed in elevators, on subways, and in the workplace. He examines the essential role the face plays in courtship and how it can be optimally displayed. He decodes the body to find silent messages given off by shoulders, neck, arms, hands, waist, calves, ankles, feet, and toes. Dr. Givens analyzes expressive shapes, colors, and markings encoded in arm wear, shoulder wear, leg wear, and shoes. He deciphers the background messages of spaces, places and interiors to learn how environs help or hinder in the meeting process. Chemical cues emanating from aromas, tastes, steroids, sterols, and hormones strongly shape a partner's feelings, so they are explored as well.
The book suggests ways to flirt, avoid mixed signals, read eyes, walk, dress, and lift a drink―to help you find a date, spark a relationship, and keep a mate. Knowing the hidden vocabulary of love signals will give you an edge. The more you know about these secret skills of attraction, the more likely you will find a loving, lasting partner.
- Sales Rank: #634957 in Books
- Published on: 2006-01-10
- Released on: 2006-01-10
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .57" w x 5.50" l, .30 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 256 pages
Review
“A masterful piece of work.” ―American Library Association on Dr. Givens' on-line Nonverbal Dictionary
“Highly recommended.” ―New Scientist on Dr. Givens' on-line Nonverbal Dictionary
“It's contents will enlighten you.” ―Discover Magazine's "Pick of the Web" on Dr. Givens' on-line Nonverbal Dictionary
“Site of the Day.” ―Good Housekeeping on Dr. Givens' on-line Nonverbal Dictionary
“Tells all you need to know--and much, much, much more.” ―San Francisco Examiner "Website of the Week" on Dr. Givens' on-line Nonverbal Dictionary
“Very interesting reading.” ―Houston Chronicle on Dr. Givens' on-line Nonverbal Dictionary
From the Inside Flap
Praise for Dr. Givens' on-line Nonverbal Dictionary:
"A masterful piece of work."
- American Library Association
"Highly recommended."
- New Scientist
"It's contents will enlighten you."
- Discover Magazine's "Pick of the Web"
"Site of the Day."
- Good Housekeeping
"Tells all you need to know--and much, much, much more."
- San Francisco Examiner "Website of the Week"
"Very interesting reading."
- Houston Chronicle
About the Author
David Givens, Ph.D., is the director of the Center for Nonverbal Studies in Spokane, Washington. He teaches Communication and Leadership in the graduate program of the School of Professional Studies at Gonzaga University. He is the author of Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship, Crime Signals: How to Spot a Criminal Before You Become a Victim, and Your Body at Work: A Guide to Sight-reading the Body Language of Business, Bosses, and Boardrooms. He offers seminars on nonverbal communication to diverse audiences, including lawyers, judges, social workers, salespeople, and physicians.
Most helpful customer reviews
45 of 47 people found the following review helpful.
How to find your love - and keep it
By Giancarlo Nicoli
This book is a blend of three parts: 1 - research studies on the subject of human behaviour, especially applied to courtship and mating; 2 - direct, field observations by the author; 3 - how-to manual to find a partner (how to wear, how to behave, how to speak, how to move... and so on).
I'm fascinated by human behaviour, I read other books on the subject. Soon after the purchase, I quickly delved into it. Although some of the studies described here are already well-known, others aren't - that's why appreciate it.
Did you know that courtship has five phases? They are: «(1) Attention, (2) Recognition, (3) Speech, (4) Touching, and (5) Lovemaking. Each phase has its own signs, signals, and cues. Since potential mates `test' each other before uniting as one, courtship is rarely hurried. Moving too fast - giving too many signals at once or showing them out of phase order - may frighten a partner away. Universally, patience is the key».
This a practical book. What's written here is feasible by everyone.
Caveat: when I say that what's written here is feasible by everyone, I don't mean this is an easy book. Many people will understand this book, but not everybody will. In this book, the author talks human behaviour, neuroanathomy, ethnography, anthropology; you find here things such as `conjugate lateral eye movements', `isopraxism'... and so on.
I think to this book as an example of the cultural divide - if you understand (and apply the findings of) this book, you have a wide advantage over those who don't understand it: but that's another story...
I give it four stars instead of five because here and there there are less interesting parts, the quality and the insightfulness of the prose is not even. Sometimes it's a rather dull reading.
Now, a few quotations:
"In courtship, palm-up gestures are psychologically friendlier than palm-down cues. (...) Our closest animal relatives, the chimpanzees, greet each other with compliant, upturned palms to show `I'm friendly'. For human beings everywhere, gesturing with an upraised, opened palm is a convincing and time-tested way to say `Trust me; I mean no harm.' Throughout the world, palm-up cues captivate, charm, and psychologically disarm partners who may be unsure of each other's intentions."
"(...) before speaking to an unfamiliar man or woman you [should] establish a baseline of familiarity. This prepares the partner by laying psychological groundwork in which a new relationship can germinate. Before you ask the nice-looking Safeway clerk for a date, go through the clerk's checkout line to build familiarity. Establish eye contact, smile, bow your head forward, head-nod in agreement, and show an open palm. Three visits in as many days activate the familiarity effect. The odds that he or she will agree to take an espresso break with you dramatically improve. Repeated physical proximity over short periods of time converts you from `just a stranger' to someone who is better known and `liked'."
"Courtship works on a principle of luring. Instead of chasing, cornering, and capturing a mate, you emit `come hither' signals and await a response. You hold back initially and play what amounts to a waiting game, in which lure, not seize, is the rule."
Enough said. To learn more, go have your copy.
1 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
whoa
By Holly Cooper
all the information in this book opened my eyes to the language of body language between people. this tells it all- makes everything crystal clear... and it makes sense! my perception of those who might be interested in me is heightened. for hetero- or homo- sexual individuals.
:]
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Review From A Professional Matchmaker
By Marni Galison
I would absolutely recommend "Love Signals" to anyone who wishes to enjoy the intellectual discussion behind the science and psychology of attraction and/or for anyone who wishes to become better skilled at reading people's body language (as well as being aware of their own "signals" they are sending out).
As a professional matchmaker, I see that people who are cognizant of other people's "nonverbal" signals have a greater likelihood of success in dating and in their relationships. In this book, Givens provides valuable tips to his readers on how to recognize interest from members of the opposite sex (e.g. noticing that people lean towards whatever - or whomever - they find most important at the time, that people's eye blink more and tend to dilate when they are interested in someone, etc.) while also offering practical tips on how to "create" interest (e.g. how to use your voice, colors, etc. to create an attraction/send certain signals).
Occasionally, the read can be a little dry and - as one reviewer here comments - photo illustrations over drawings might have enhanced the book a little. Overall, however, I really enjoyed "Love Signals" and would highly recommend it.
Marni Galison, President and Founder
Sunday at Noon Matchmaking and Events
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