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French Revolutions: Cycling the Tour de France, by Tim Moore
Download French Revolutions: Cycling the Tour de France, by Tim Moore
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Not only is it the world's largest and most watched sporting event, but also the most fearsome physical challenge ever conceived by man, demanding every last ounce of will and strength, every last drop of blood, sweat, and tears. If ever there was an athletic exploit specifically not for the faint of heart and feeble of limb, this is it. So you might ask, what is Tim Moore doing cycling it?
An extremely good question. Ignoring the pleading dictates of reason and common sense, Moore determined to tackle the Tour de France, all 2,256 miles of it, in the weeks before the professionals entered the stage. This decision was one he would regret for nearly its entire length. But readers--those who now know Moore's name deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as Bill Bryson and Calvin Trillin--will feel otherwise. They are in for a side-splitting treat.
French Revolutions gives us a hilariously unforgettable account of Moore's attempt to conquer the Tour de France. "Conquer" may not be quite the right word. He cheats when he can, pops the occasional hay fever pill for an ephedrine rush (a fine old Tour tradition), sips cheap wine from his water bottle, and occasionally weeps on the phone to his wife. But along the way he gives readers an account of the race's colorful history and greatest heroes: Eddy Merckx, Greg Lemond, Lance Armstrong, and even Firmin Lambot, aka the "Lucky Belgian," who won the race at the age of 36. Fans of the Tour de France will learn why the yellow jersey is yellow, and how cyclists learned to save precious seconds (a race that lasts for three weeks is all about split seconds) by relieving themselves en route. And if that isn't enough, his account of a rural France tarting itself up for its moment in the spotlight leaves popular quaint descriptions of small towns in Provence in the proverbial dust. If you either love or hate the French, or both, you'll want to travel along with Time Moore.
French Revolutions is Tim Moore's funniest book to date. It is also one of the funniest sports books ever written.
- Sales Rank: #463213 in Books
- Published on: 2003-06-01
- Released on: 2003-06-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .65" w x 5.50" l, .59 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 288 pages
From Booklist
With every book, this British writer inches ever closer to mastering Bill Bryson's unique mixture of travelogue and comedy. His latest offering finds the author on the roads and highways of France, Switzerland, and Germany, a 36-year-old novice cyclist trying to complete the Tour de France. Not the actual Tour de France, that is. Moore set off on the course several weeks before the actual race began, just to see if he could finish all 2,256 miles of it. Like his previous books, Frost on My Moustache (2000) and The Grand Tour (2001), this is not so much a travelogue as a travel situation comedy. Like the protagonist of a sitcom, things just keep happening to Moore: he finds himself in the unlikeliest of places, meeting the unlikeliest of people. He charts his tour progress with an impish wit, never taking anything too seriously, and is engagingly honest about his own shortcomings as a Tour de France cyclist. (He cheats, in other words.) Moore, and the reader, develop a greater understanding of what it takes to be a true tour cyclist: equal parts determination, stamina, and lunacy. His descriptions of the places he visits make these small towns and villages seem instantly familiar; the people he encounters become as real as our closest friends. About halfway through the book, we realize that it doesn't really matter whether he finishes the course; getting there is all the fun. A must for fans of offbeat travel books by the likes of Bryson, Calvin Trillin, and Tony Hawks. David Pitt
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved
Review
[Moore's] adventures are -- in the best sense -- off the beaten track. Thank goodness for that. --The New York Times Book Review
From the Inside Flap
The ultimate amateur attempts to cycle the Tour de France route.
"Put me back on my bike." As last words go, these are unlikely to pass Tim Moore's lips. The author attempts to cycle all 3,630 km of the 2000 Tour de France route just before the professionals do. His is an epic depiction of an inadequate man's attempt to achieve the unachievable, a tale of calorific excess, ludicrous clothing and intimate discomfort.
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By latal
informative and hilarious
25 of 32 people found the following review helpful.
Uneven, at times frustrating, but a lot of fun.
By James Burke
This novel answers a question most cyclists have asked themselves: Could I, a mere mortal, finish the Tour de France? The answer Moore walks away with is yes, you can probably Forrest Gump your way through--provided you play free and loose with the route and the rules.
As you begin the book, however, it seems as though it will take Moore a lifetime to reach this conclusion. The first few chapters read less like literature than the winning essay in a "Can You Fit a Gag in EVERY Sentence?" contest. At times it takes paragraph after excruciating paragraph of wacky hijinks for Moore to complete the most mundane task, e.g., picking up the bike and walking out the door--you may find yourself ready to scream "just get ON with it!" more than once.
Once Moore gets his act together and starts rolling, however, so does the book. Moore makes no secret of the fact that he is an absolute beginner when it comes to cycling, and this really helps the book remain fun. Rather than getting bogged down in technical jargon and precise details, Moore simply bumbles his way around France, using a liberal dose of caustic English wit to chronicle his journey and reflect on the unique, at times baffling enigma that is French culture. And he does bring to light some head-scratchers; why do the French post a permanent sign next to every chip, hole and gouge in a road instead of simply repaving it? In a country the size of France, how could a canyon 12 miles long and a mile wide possibly go undiscovered until 1905?
Moore's real genius, though, was in unearthing a treasure trove of arcane, fascinating Tour de France trivia. From the unimaginable suffering of the early tours, to the insane results of egos run amok, to the at times hilarious, at times heartbreaking lengths men go through to finish the Tour, Moore misses nothing and weaves it seamlessly into his own "Tour."
That's the good news. The bad news is the fun is concentrated in the center of the book; it loses steam in last few chapters. And while both Americans and Brits speak English, the English we speak is not the same, a fact made painfully obvious by Moore's liberal use of impenetrable Brit-slang. Combine that with dozens of French phrases, and you may go for sentences without a clue to what Moore is talking about.
A final irony is that this book will likely appeal more to those who don't cycle that those who do, because while Moore is a novice, he is also quite often an unbearable idiot. I found myself checking the jacket to see if this book wasn't written in 1951--why would anyone in this day and age attempt to ride 100 miles fueled up on candy bars, pate, espresso, cold medicine and liters of wine? I guess Moore loves the macho/romantic image, but excuse me if I don't think getting yourself--or someone else--killed while riding half drunk is cool, particularly when you've got three kids. I just found much of what he did so exasperatingly, pointlessly stupid I couldn't let it go.
But more seriously, it just didn't ring true to me; bluntly, I think Moore is often flat-out lying about his exploits. Knowing what I know about cycling, and given the massive dehydration, cramping, fatigue and overall havoc such a crap diet would wreak on his system, I find it VERY difficult to believe Moore could have finished as much of this ride as he claims he did.
But then, Moore didn't take his journey that seriously, so I suppose I shouldn't either. And, so long as you don't take it seriously, I would imagine that virtually anyone can enjoy Moore's ride. Flaws aside, a fun read.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Started out great but went downhill
By J. O'Connor
Existing comments encapsulate most of my thoughts about the book. I'm adding a review to support those comments and add a new perspective.
I used to do solo cycle long distance touring and I understand the rigors and difficulties. In many respects, the days get very repetitive; some parts of a trip can only be differentiated in one's memory by studying a map and remembering details.
I thoroughly enjoyed the first couple of chapters; he described his naivety in a clever way. Once he got rolling on the trip, the effectiveness of his humor started to diminish and the laughs became more scarce.
His journal evolved mostly into a daily cycle of: I ate poorly; I felt bad all day; people were rude to me; I was rude to people; then I found a hovel for that night's lodging. Also, when he encountered a cyclist going in the same direction or had a traveling companion, he often tried to upstage the other cyclist. It became a tiresome litany. The last third of the book became a chore to read; when I lost track of my place, it would be hard to find it again because every section read almost the same.
I expect that this repetitive cycle was his experience. I wish he (or his editor) had reduced the monotony of that cycle by focusing on the events that were more distinctive. Also, editing was needed to strip the clutter created by too many allusions to pop culture used as colorful allegories for simple conditions.
Without question, the redeeming quality of the book was his recounting of TdF history in the context of his current surroundings. Those were the gems that kept me motivated to complete the book.
One final thought: I expect that Moore accurately recounted his actual tour and that he didn't cheat (any more than he described in the book). I also expect that he was able to accomplish his ride because his performance and endurance greatly improved during the trip and he chose not to describe this. Instead, he told us about his bad nutrition...an area where I think he did exaggerate for literary effect. For example, I was incredulous that he could gain weight during the trip.
I have a hunch that Moore would be an excellent on-air commenter adding "color" to a Tour de France broadcast. His glibness would be delivered in manageable chunks and would be directly relevant to the action.
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