PDF Download Texas Hold 'Em: How I Was Born in a Manger, Died in the Saddle, and Came Back as a Horny Toad, by Kinky Friedman
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Texas Hold 'Em: How I Was Born in a Manger, Died in the Saddle, and Came Back as a Horny Toad, by Kinky Friedman
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"Texas Hold 'Em is more than just a card game. It deals…with that fine, forgotten art of playing a poor hand well…Texas Hold 'Em is a state of mind, a spiritual survival technique, a way of holding on to things that might just be important in this ever-changing world." --from the introduction to Texas Hold 'Em
The irrepressible, future Governor of Texas is back with a crusade to stop the wussification of the Lone Star State. He never thought he'd see the day when he'd miss gun racks in the back windows of pickup trucks, but he almost does. He misses the days when cowboy shirts never had buttons and coffee with a friend was still a dime. Many of the stubborn, dusty, weather-beaten little towns, roads, trucks, jeeps, people and animals are gone now. Like it or not, the peaceful, scenic bucolic Hill Country of his childhood is being dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st Century.
His is at his outrageous best as he gives Americans a look at the state made famous by the Alamo, the armadillo, Willie Nelson, and, well, Kinky Friedman. Texas Hold 'Em is composed of provocative essays, including autobiographical pieces that are at times bittersweet and at other hilarious, profiles of such stellar Texans as his friend, Willie Nelson, as you've never seen him before, George W. Bush, and Racehorse Haynes, and a treasure trove of lists, quizzes , including:
If the Ten Commandments Were Written by a Texan
Tex My ride
Texas Firsts
What Kind of Texas Driver Are you?
As an added diversion, the book is decorated with cartoons by the brilliant John Callahan, particularly appealing to those whose lives are spiraling downward into tailspins of despair.
Texas Hold 'Em is the way in which the Kinkster plays the game of life. To him, Texas Hold' Em means holding on to what is dear to him, to the things that made him who he is, always remembering that the most important things in life aren't things. An old cowboy philosophy of life sums it up -- "hang on tight, spur hard, and let 'er buck."
- Sales Rank: #3110997 in Books
- Published on: 2006-04-18
- Released on: 2006-04-18
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.24" h x .65" w x 5.46" l, .48 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 240 pages
From Publishers Weekly
The Kinkster, "Kinky's term of endearment for himself," has been busy churning out the pages (three books last year; two so far this year), even as he prepares to run for governor of Texas in 2006. Given the successes of Jesse Ventura and Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Kinkster figures he could be a governor, too; since governors don't do any "heavy lifting," he could do "some spiritual lifting," perhaps referring to his vow "to fight the wussification" of Texas. Apart from arguing for know-nothings in politics, Friedman supplies his readers with a great number of lists: Texas cheerleaders, Texas inventions, Texas oddities, Texas prison slang, etc. He even tries his hand at a bit of pop sociology, pondering the number of former Eagle Scouts on Texas's death row: "The Boy Scouts don't allow non-Christians or gays in their organization. You would think that would weed out the nutters but apparently not." Although in the end, it's clear Friedman doesn't have much to say about anything, his many fans will probably set aside a couple of nights' beer money for this latest collection, enhanced by the cartoons of John Callahan.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Review
Praise for Kinky Friedman:
"The new Mark Twain."--Southern Living
"The Mother Teresa of literature."--Willie Nelson
"A Texas legend."--George W. Bush
"Sometimes he's outrageous. Most of the time, he's outrageously funny."--People "Spreads more joy than Ross Perot's ears."--Molly Ivins
About the Author
Kinky Friedman is a former country music star, Texas Monthly columnist, and author of a successful mystery series. He is running for Governor of Texas in November '06. He wants to take things back to a time when the cowboys all sang and their horses were smart.
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By scrubbers
Great read!
2 of 18 people found the following review helpful.
This book is retarded
By Eric Sebasta
A friend who had the same taste in reading as me recommended this book so I bought it. I was in a few spots funny, but more dumb then anything. Save your money.
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
Kinky really comes into his own with this book!
By Jerry Guild
I've been a long time fan of Kinky and read all of his novels.Now, he has gotten away from his 'off the wall' mysteries with their wonderful characters.Kinky is one of the most gifted and entertaining authors around today.He can come up with a one-liner as good as anyone around.Without even a seconds pause,he can make the political correct run for cover.As a Jewish Country singer he has no equal,especially when you realize he comes from New York and is completely at home in Redneck Texas.
Right now he is in the process of runing fot Governor of Texas.One can never tell what the results of an election will be,but somehow I think that worse things could happen than he wins.
In this book he explains many facets of life, as can be seen in some of these quotes,and even gives us some insight into how things will be done under his Governorship.
"The question is whether a candidacy is a joker or whether the current crop of politicans is the joker."
"My platform is to fight the wussification of this great state and bring back the glory of Texas."
"To be elected in Texas one must believe in a Supreme Being."
He also passes on other wisdom;such as:
"You know you're from Texas if you've been married and divorced five times and still have the same in-laws.
"I had the rare distinction of being introduced by the Rev.Jimmy Snow as the first full blooded Jew to appear on The Grand Ole Opry."
"Saddam's a thug with an excellent tailor."
"As old Austinites used to say;"Onward through the fog."
I guarantee ,if you pick up this book;you'll have a hard time putting it down.
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